Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly and the morgue needed
someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Mick and Seamus,
were called upon.

Seamus went in and the morgue attendant pulled back the sheet. Seamus
said 'Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over?.

Following orders the morgue attendant rolled Paddy over and Seamus
looked and said 'Nope, it ain't Paddy.'

The morgue attendant thought it all rather strange and then called upon
Mick to identify the body.

Mick took one look at him and said, 'Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him

The morgue attendant rolled him over and Mick looked down and said, 'No,
it ain't Paddy'.

The baffled morgue attendant asked, 'How can you tell?'

Mick said, 'Well, Paddy had two assholes.'

?What! He had two assholes?' said the astonished morgue attendant.

'Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town,
people would say, "Here comes Paddy with them two assholes."