A normal 50 something, having split from his latest girlfriend,decided to
take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded
to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on
an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and
coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he
asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when
my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he said. "You were really lucky to have a rowing boat wash up
with you."
"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material
I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches, I
wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the
island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it
to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that
for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the
man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone walk
leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the
woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man
can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she
says casually, "It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would
you like a drink?"
"No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of
coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you
like a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts and they sit
down on her couch to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going
to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower
and shave? There is a razor in the bathroom cabinet."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in
the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed
to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel
mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
W hen he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit
down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to
him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's
something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've
been longing for?"
She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing. "You
mean...", and he swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his
eyes.......
"Don't tell me you've got Sky Sports