The Scots perspective

Good old Glasgow. If I had to pick a city in the world where I could
depend on one of the locals to kick a man who was on fire, it would
always be Glasgow. That really had to hurt - 90% burns and sore

I think we should get a photo of that guy KICKING A FLAMING MAN, blow it
up and make it the welcome sign at Glasgow Airport. Underneath we
should have the words 'Glasgow Welcomes Careful Drivers'.

I love the naivety of al-Qaeda. Trying to bring religious war to
You're 400 years too late guys. You've not even got a football team.
I think that we should give Partick Thistle to al-Qaeda. If only for
the joy of hearing them read out their team sheet on Saturday at 5am
from the top of a mosque.

The Sun last week urged us all to respond to the attack by flying the
Union Jack.
Really, in Glasgow that's never been a great way of getting your
insurance premiums down.

If we play this whole terrorism thing right, we could get al-Qaeda to
blow up some of Scotland's eyesores. I think we should definitely start
putting signs up round Shettleston's high flats that say 'Financial

For a while, confusion reigned at Glasgow airport.
Was it a terrorist attack or just Richard Hammond turning up late for

People say it was lucky they didn't crash into a fuel container.
I say it's lucky they didn't hit the queue coming out of Duty Free - the
whole place would have gone up like Hiroshima.

The best bit is being told that hundreds of people were saved from being
hideously burnt...these were Scottish people flying to Spain! They'll
come back looking like they've been bungee jumping off the lip of a