A True Story...

A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Tesco with her
two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the

The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Tesco, nice
children you've got there. Are they twins?"

The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl:

"Of course they b****y aren't! The oldest is nine and the youngest is
seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you really
think they look alike, you d***head?"

"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone
would shag you twice!"