Scottish Put Downs

She had a fann*y like a stab wound in a gorilla's back.

Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan.

Had mair hauns up her than sooty !

She's got a face like a dug lickin pis*h aff a thistle.

She's got a face that could make an onion cry.

I wouldn't ride her into battle.

Mair chins than a chinese phone book.

She smells like an alkies carpet.

It's like shagin a pail of water.

She's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher.

Fann*y like a ripped out fireplace.

Face like a sand blasted tomato.

She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant.

She's seen more helmets than Hitler.

Face like a stuntman's knee.

She's seen more cockends than weekends.

It's like throwing a sausage up a close.

A left her wi a face like a painter's radio.

Fann*y like a clowns pocket.

She's that ugly no' even a sniper would take her out.

I bet she's got a fann*y like a pub carpet.

More pricks than a second hand dartboard.

Face like a blind joiners thumb.

Even the tide wouldn't take her out.

Got more finger prints on her than scotland yard.

Got a fann*y like a gutted trout.

Got a fann*y like a burst couch.

She's had more seamen than saltcoats.

Does yer da have a beard or was that yer maw doing handstands at the
windae again ?

She's seen mare stiffs than Quincy !

She's seen mare cokes than a bottle of bacardi !

She's got a face like a treble 20 !