She had a fann*y like a stab wound in a gorilla's back.
Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan.
Had mair hauns up her than sooty !
She's got a face like a dug lickin pis*h aff a thistle.
She's got a face that could make an onion cry.
I wouldn't ride her into battle.
Mair chins than a chinese phone book.
She smells like an alkies carpet.
It's like shagin a pail of water.
She's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher.
Fann*y like a ripped out fireplace.
Face like a sand blasted tomato.
She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant.
She's seen more helmets than Hitler.
Face like a stuntman's knee.
She's seen more cockends than weekends.
It's like throwing a sausage up a close.
A left her wi a face like a painter's radio.
Fann*y like a clowns pocket.
She's that ugly no' even a sniper would take her out.
I bet she's got a fann*y like a pub carpet.
More pricks than a second hand dartboard.
Face like a blind joiners thumb.
Even the tide wouldn't take her out.
Got more finger prints on her than scotland yard.
Got a fann*y like a gutted trout.
Got a fann*y like a burst couch.
She's had more seamen than saltcoats.
Does yer da have a beard or was that yer maw doing handstands at the
windae again ?
She's seen mare stiffs than Quincy !
She's seen mare cokes than a bottle of bacardi !
She's got a face like a treble 20 !