Poor Man

Man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to

The doctor comes in and says 'Ah, I see you've
regained consciousness. Now
you probably won't remember, but you were in a
pile-up on the motorway.'
'You're going to be OK, you'll walk again, everything,
but something
happened. I'm trying to break this gently but your
willy was chopped off in
the wreck and we were unable to find it.'

Now the bloke groans a bit but the doctor goes on,
'You've got £9000
compensation coming to you and we have the
technology now to build you a
new willy that will work as well as your old one did,
better in fact. But
thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's a thousand pounds an inch.'

The bloke perks up at this.

'So the thing is' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide
how many inches
you want. But it's something you'd better discuss
with your wife. I mean,
if you had a five inch one before and you decide to
go for a nine incher
she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch
one before and you
decide only to invest in a five incher this time she
might be disappointed.
So it's important that she plays a role in helping you
make the decision.'

So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife and the
doctor comes back the
next day.

'So' says the doctor 'Have you spoken with your

'I have.' says the fellow.

'And has she helped you in making the decision?'

'She has' says the bloke.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor. . .


We're having a new kitchen.