Dave The Hen

Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he
often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He
gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a
strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white
Robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my

The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter."

Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so much to
live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family . . . you've got to send me
back straight away."

St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can
only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he
asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in
feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up
inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are
you enjoying your first dayhere?"

"It's not so bad" replies Dave, "but I have this strange feeling inside like
I'm about to explode."

"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid
an egg before?"

"Never!" replies Dave.

"Well just relax and let it happen

So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from
under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions
got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and
he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever
happened to him. . . . . . . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an
enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting...

"Dave, wake up you drunken b*stard, you've sh*t the bed.