How to get to Heaven from Scotland ....
I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday School class to see if they
understood the concept of getting into heaven.
I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and
gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"
"NO!" the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything
tidy, would that get me into heaven?"
Again, the answer was, 'No!'
By now I was starting to smile.
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children,
and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"
Again, they all answered, 'No!' I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"
A six year old boy shouted,
"Yuv goat tae be fukin' deid"
Kinda brings a wee tear tae yir eye...